This Train Read online

  For all of us on this train…

  “Meet me in a land of hopes and dreams.…”

  —Bruce Springsteen

  1

  Nora kept her head down as she hurried up the stairs into Seattle’s train station that chilly spring Thursday afternoon. She angled away from the main entrance’s glass doors toward a brown steel slab Service Door. All that any sentinel looking down from the station’s brick watchtower might notice was her night-before’s home-chopped short and dyed chocolate-cherry hair.

  She wore an unzipped burgundy leather jacket. A black purse/belt-pack. Black slacks. Savvy shoes. Pulled a clunking roller bag behind her.

  Her cellphone unlocked the Service Entrance’s brown steel slab.

  An AUTHORIZED USE ONLY sign was bolted to the inside of that steel door that slammed shut behind her as she stepped into the station’s vast main lobby. She surged to that particular square of the black & white tiled chessboard floor.

  A dozen strangers to her went about their business across those black & white tiles inside that pale-walled ballroom. Sunlight streamed into the huge lobby through the far wall’s glass portals to the waiting tracks.

  Nora filled her cellphone screen with the station’s security cameras’ Live Feed showing her the same reality as her eyes.

  The black square where she stood was a blind spot for the cameras.

  She tap-tap-tapped her cell.

  Blink and the seen in her screen became not what she saw with her eyes.

  Yes, it was the same giant ballroom of Seattle’s train station lobby. And yes, there were people hustling their lives over the chessboard tiles—

  —but what the cameras now played and logged was yesterday’s scene.

  Nora roller-bagged her way to a lonely blue & red U.S. Post Office mailbox standing against a wall. Opened her purse/belt-pack.

  That black purse held all her not-much cash. A charger. Pills. Six condoms. Red and pink lipstick. Deodorant, toothbrush, TSA-tiny toothpaste tube. Musk perfume. Black hairbrush—a round, grooved-handle cylinder of rubber bristles that couldn’t brush blood-black hair back to the way things used to be.

  She pulled out a new thin maroon wallet.

  Slid out her Washington State driver’s license.

  She never liked that picture. Her natural Marilyn Monroe hair flowed fine, but her face strained in her usual ‘Official Picture’ expression.

  She filled the wallet’s slot with the driver’s license she’d made last night after she’d scissor-slaughtered and dyed her blonde hair to chocolate-cherry. The picture on that fake I.D. showed a dead-eyed face above a name that wasn’t hers.

  Nora put her real license in a stamped envelope addressed to who she used to be in the studio loft apartment where vertical windows beyond the three desktop screens in front of her chair revealed real horizons where she wasn’t.

  She licked the envelope.

  Lost herself in the taste.

  Opened the lonely mailbox’s slot.

  Released the envelope of the true her into its darkness.

  From behind her came a cellphone camera’s Click!

  She whirled—

  —saw a pubescent peach fuzz boy with thick glasses lower his cellphone from taking her picture dropping the envelope into the lonely mailbox.

  Only the two of them stood in that deserted section of the station.

  “Wow!” said the just-made-teenager. “I’ve never seen anyone do that! Like, you actually for real mailed an old-timey letter!”

  “Here’s for real,” said Nora in her husky voice. “We delete that picture and I’ll let you take a more ‘wow’ one right now.”

  The kid named Luc shrugged OK.

  Nora let go of her bags.

  Shed her burgundy leather jacket.

  Mesmerized Luc held his cellphone between them. His back was to the pale stone wall. Her back was to the station’s distant and distracted shuffling crowd.

  Nora jerked her blue sweater up and over her face.

  Cool air brushed the uncovered flesh of her front.

  She heard Luc’s cellphone Click!

  Let her sweater drop. Lifted the cellphone from jaw-dropped Luc’s hands.

  Nora worked the algorithms of his unlocked cellphone.

  “One image gone and then really gone, but you got your for real,” she said. Put the cellphone back in Luc’s hands. “BTW, it won’t take pictures for two days.”

  She left him mind-blown against the wall by the lonely mailbox.

  Slid into her burgundy leather jacket. Grabbed her roller bag.

  Rolled all she had through the vast castle toward a sign that reserved wooden benches for Premium Passengers with Roomette Suites, Bedroom Suites and Superliner Bedrooms. A second sign pointed to a corral of yellow plastic chairs designated for Coach Passengers.

  Nora sat on an empty wooden bench.

  She still had time to run.

  BAM!

  A street door slammed open back by where she’d come from.

  The ever-louder slap slap slap of sandals on the black and white tiles made him easy to track as he closed in on her. His gold and maroon monk robes showed no dots from the rain. He’d shaved his head to a smooth skull.

  The monk marched straight to where Nora sat and in Iowa American said: “Do you know the gate for the four-oh-four train from San Francisco? I want to be sure my son sees me when he gets off.”

  “Ahh… I don’t think he’ll miss you in the crowd.”

  “I would think there’d be better signage.”

  Nora blinked.

  “I mean,” said this 21st century official monk, “I look around, and do I see proper, clear, definitive directions? No I don’t, do I?”

  The man in gold and maroon robes sandal-slapped away with all his I’s.

  Out of nowhere came a middle-aged man wearing a gray jacket, khaki work pants, a denim shirt. He pulled a duct-taped roller bag. Strapped across his chest hung an army surplus messenger bag.

  The messenger bag man headed toward the corral of yellow plastic chairs.

  Looked down at his ticket as if he couldn’t believe what he bought.

  Rolled his duct-taped suitcase to the Premium bench opposite Nora.

  His messenger bag bonked the bench.

  He jerked!

  Froze in horror.

  But the young woman across from him acted like she hadn’t heard a thing.

  Nobody ever notices, he thought as he sat down. Now, finally, that’s good.

  “Yip!”

  Never-married Constance, a stout mature lady in traveling clothes from her parents’ dignified era before the Beatles, cradled that yipper rat dog in the crook of her arm as she marched into the Premium waiting area, paused in the black & white tiles valley between the facing-each-other wooden benches.

  “Yip! Yip!”

  “Mugzy!” scolded she who carried him. “Mind your manners! I’m sure she’s a perfectly respectable young woman.”

  Constance and Mugzy gave Nora their backs and butts.

  Constance saw a mature man clutching a messenger bag sitting on that bench. But even with his flecked gray hair, he was more than a decade away from that magic moment when The Government declared you “old” and mailed you a red-white-&-blue Medicare card to prove it. No, that does not mean one is old!

  Constance sighed. Messenger bag man was younger—OK, a lot younger than her. She eyed his shabby clothes. Still settled on his bench across from the woman Mugzy had doubts about. Constance sat close enough to not discourage Mr. Messenger Bag and far enough away to be safe from his indifference.

  Mugzy growled at four more two-legged beasts marching his way.

  The 15-year-old daughter led her rolling suitcases family. Her eyes saw only more strangers who woul
dn’t understand. Who couldn’t possibly know what she was going through. Her purse of secrets rode strapped across her chest like an outlaw’s bandolier of bullets.

  Striding behind the teenage daughter came the family’s mom. Ebony hair swayed on her shoulders. The mom kept her eyes locked on her walking away daughter. Strained to see where she was going.

  Trudging behind Mom came her 10-year-old son pulling his suitcase while bent over with the weight of his backpack. He raised his gaze off this castle’s black & white floor tiles to search for the answer to the obvious question:

  Are there monsters here?

  Dad marched behind his family. Rear guard but facing What’s Really Out There. Like he should. Like every Marine—any Marine—would. Ready to do what had to be done. Trustworthy. Loyal. Semper fi.

  Semper fi fucked, he thought even as he hated himself for ever thinking that even though that ever was now.

  His daughter marched them to the Premium passengers’ wooden bench where a cherry black haired woman twice her age sat on the far end. His daughter dove into her cellphone as she plopped near that edgy woman. Dad made sure his son who tended to drift off to dreamland—

  Not, no NOT on to some “spectrum,” Dad told himself.

  —his boy sat down just like he should.

  And their mom…

  Their mom. His wife. The high school teacher. The ebony haired beauty. She settled on the wooden bench beside her screen-mesmerized daughter.

  Just one minute, thought Mom. Please give me just one minute.

  One minute without me having to think about—worry about—all the ifs.

  Nora.

  The messenger bag man.

  Constance and Mugzy.

  That family of four.

  They were the first to arrive in the Premium seating section that gray Thursday April afternoon, but by 4 o’clock, a flood of travelers filled the rope-controlled corral of plastic yellow chairs designated for Coach passengers.

  There were men. Husbands. Fathers. Brothers. That man in the rain. All sons of someone. All trying not to be lost.

  There were women. Moms. Aunts. Sisters. The blurred face in a passing car. All daughters of those days. All striving to be who they were.

  There were children. A boy clutching a stuffed monkey. A girl playing with Superhero action figures tied into a mega-millions Hollywood franchise.

  There were people burned by a lot of sun. Pale clerks and techs. Cubicle and counter and warehouse workers. A ride-share driver. They breathed, they bled, they bred, they dead. They sold stuff, they bought stuff, they did stuff. They were people who had jobs and people whose jobs had them. There’s a flash of lonely. A look of fear. A laugh in the crowd. A cough. A babble of octaves. There’s silent sad and humming happy. And everywhere there’s the tingle of Let’s go!

  Knifing through all that came a werewolf.

  Silver hair. Cheyenne-worthy cheekbones on pale skin. Burning blue eyes. The werewolf wore a scruffy black leather jacket over a black hoodie, faded black jeans. His roller bag looked like nothing special.

  As he rolled his way into the benches, Constance felt her heart twitter even though he looked like the no-no kind. She felt certain he also carried a Not-old! card of red-white-&-blue. He claimed the end of the bench to her right. Sat.

  Mugzy nuzzled his snout out of sight in her arms.

  And just as Constance was trying to figure out some casual greeting to send him with a prim but friendly smile, the silver-haired stranger spoke.

  Not to her. Constance felt like he saw her only because The Everything of this the train station filled his steel blue eyes. Constance heard him softly say:

  “And thus, we are here.”

  What does that mean? thought Constance.

  She pulled into herself like she did when she heard something in church or coming out of the TV that she didn’t understand or didn’t want to understand.

  Mugzy nuzzled deeper into her hiding embrace. Silenced his yips.

  Constance glanced back toward the silver stranger who wasn’t like the Main Street gentleman she’d hoped for or even a no-no. He was an oh-oh. Though she would of course speak to him if the rules of politeness so dictated.

  Now he settled on her bench. Let his smile wait for what was coming.

  What came was Brian Keller.

  Bank president Brian Keller.

  In his beloved golden cashmere coat.

  Behind him trudged ‘the little woman.’

  She wore a prim pantsuit proper for her place in small town American life, dark ruby lipstick with none of the heat from the shade of red in Nora’s purse.

  Brian sighed and silently cursed himself for being too good of a guy, too good of a husband. Letting the wife talk him into this.

  And so now here he is, but there’s some old biddy with one of those damn yippy dogs hoarding up the middle of the bench, the only bench to sit on because—Don’t look!—there’s a whole family of them sitting over there.

  “I thought this was the Premium section,” he muttered to his wife.

  Brian nodded to the bench beside the old lady with that yippy dog, told his wife: “You sit there.”

  She did.

  Brain claimed the space between her and some guy hugging a shabby bag.

  Wished he wasn’t here. Wished he hadn’t come. Today was Thursday. Chamber of Commerce luncheon day. Sitting down and standing up with all the right people. Pledging liberty and justice for all. Getting the low down and the down low. Not stuck on a wooden bench across from a family of them.

  Black people, he thought. Or whatever we have to call them these days.

  A whole family: dad, mom, daughter, son.

  Sitting on the same Premium bench as some funky red hair woman who probably thought she was too good to walk in his wife’s shoes.

  Nora looked away from the cashmere coated banker.

  Saw arriving icons of who she once thought she should be.

  They were the Makes Sense couple of Nora’s Millennial generation.

  The woman kept her head up like she was still the Prom Princess and Student Body President who went on to Ivy League Phi Beta wow and a Power Resume with a brilliant future. Sunlit auburn hair floated on her shoulders.

  Her name was Terri.

  Her white knight hunk strode beside her. Had smart eyes and a welcoming smile, wore just the right clothes. Had nature-built muscles from backpacking mountainous woods and whale watching off Oregon cliffs. Had a handsome face that got hmms from women whenever he arrived in a bar to meet Terri.

  His name was Erik.

  Erik sat on the bench next to the Black teenage girl.

  Smiled straight ahead with a patience that gave no hint of The Countdown.

  Terri slumped next to a cherry-haired woman her age.

  Saw no bloody answers written on this train station’s white stone walls.

  Everyone in Premium wowed when they saw who next joined their group.

  The new arrival paraded like a retired Baltimore stripper.

  Witnesses could almost hear a sultry saxophone play wah-wah-WHA, wha wha-wha whaa as what Nora’s nana would have called “a big girl” hip-swaying and chest-trembling clomped between the Premium benches, a strong neon pink nails right hand clutching an old-fashioned paper train ticket for Della Storm.

  Slathers of pink makeup and matching lipstick conspired to hide Della’s truths. Flowered hairspray made a cloud around her swirl of shiny black hair. A purple feather boa looped like its namesake constrictor around Della’s neck.

  Mugzy snapped his teeth at that purple snake.

  That sent Della to a seat at the end of the bench beside the Black family.

  Everyone was careful not to stare.

  Well, except for the silver werewolf.

  Mugzy growled at who he next saw striding into his herd.

  The new arrival reminded Nora of a second-tier Hollywood star whose name she couldn’t remember. Hair dyed the color of hay brushed to cover baldne
ss. Handsome jowly face that surgically defied late middle age. Beady eyes making sure everybody saw him and how good he looked in his tycoon’s suit.

  That Hollywood clone sat on the bench by Constance. Her hand wrapped around Mugzy’s muzzle so he wouldn’t be rude to this obvious gentleman.

  Hollywood paid no mind to Constance’s smiles or Mugzy’s trembles.

  Let his eyes lick the two 30-something women sitting across from him.

  Would have licked the teenage girl, but there sat her dad.

  Plus, down that road he wasn’t fool enough to go. Not these days.

  Across from where Hollywood sat, of all the passengers, only the 10-year-old boy in the Black family noticed banker Brian’s wife slip something into the pocket of her husband’s golden cashmere coat.

  Husband and bank president Brian didn’t realize what she’d done.

  No self-betraying smile escaped her ruby’d lips.

  Then came Ross.

  Last, actually.

  Last came Ross.

  Ross bummed a lift to the train station from Upstairs Amanda who believed she could always beat the clock.

  Upstairs Amanda owned the Seattle townhouse where Ross rented the basement apartment, bonus cash for her because the marijuana dispensary she managed paid just fine, thank you very much everybody who’d gotten the commerce and cool of cannabis out of the local crime books.

  Upstairs Amanda’s tattoo-sleeved arms wrestled her car as they careened to the train station through this city with a science fiction skyline of construction cranes and looming skyscrapers for cyber tech corporate giants.

  They drove under a bridge. Passed tents of tattered cloth and plastic sheeting pressed up against the concrete. Could be a woman, could be a man pushed an overflowing shopping cart. A rags-swaddled, sister-brother duo huddled against the Apple store’s brick wall. Out there in the rain, a thin man standing on the center line of this major road held a hand-lettered sign—HELP.

  As Ross’s ride whooshed him where he had to go, he felt the familiar firm flatness tucked against his spine and wondered again if he should use a holster.

  Upstairs Amanda slammed on the brakes. Her tires slid/stopped on the wet street in front of the train station with what she called “plenty of time to spare.”